Today I decided to change my trousers, whether the others needed washing or not. I last remember looking at my trouser rack a few months ago. I found a pair of green trousers that I don’t wear very often. They are baggy and the sort that have several trillion pockets and zippers on them.
They are daft.
For one thing if you do actually use any of the silly pockets then whatever object you put in there bangs around against your leg and bruises it. Secondly it makes the trouser hang oddly. “Have you got the scrolls?”, “No, it’s just the way my trousers hang.”. Thirdly, when you come to extract said object from your trousers, you have to ferret around in each of the trillion pockets trying to find it, and people nearby think you are playing pocket billiards with yourself, or having an attack of St. Vitus’ Dance.
So, there we are then.
As some may know I bought a nice pair of comfortable Cargo pantaloons on Saturday, and I have been trying them out. They are equipped with many pockets. Not just in the traditional locations at the sides and on the bum at buttock level, but also on the legs, around knee level. In fact there are four pockets on the left trouser leg: three horizontally disposed with double buttons, and the third vertical, with a zip. The zippered pocket allows me to reach inside and feel my kneecap. Now that’s what I call handy. I often need to scratch my kneecap, so it’s thoughtful. On the right leg there are five pockets, some buttoned, some velcroed and one zippered. But no entry to the right kneecap. Fortunately my right kneecap rarely needs scratching.
In total I have thirteen (yes, 13) pockets in these trousers, including the four standard pockets.
What the Dickens are they all for?
Does anyone use knee-level pockets? I’d welcome suggestions on what I might stow in them.
