Watching “The Office” last night: quite excellent. Different to the UK version, but just as good. Of course every five minutes the commercials/adverts come on, in which not only are products advertised, but also the upcoming news. This involves firstly a head shot of some oddly coiffed chap wearing too much makeup, saying “Hi, I’m Brad Butter. Join me for the 10 o’clock news.”, and then a voice over saying “Always on top of what’s happening, the real stories, as they happen, on your doorstep, in your face, that’s Fux News at 10″.
WTF?
Why is the news advertised? I don’t understand.
But often more troubling are the clips of the upcoming news. Last night there was one very disturbing clip. It showed real footage from a hidden camera of a babysitter pummeling and beating a small child around the head. The voice over went something like “So you think your kids are safe with that babysitter? See what a Southland couple caught on video, and details of the upcoming trial.”
It was sickening footage. This wasn’t a “dramatization”, it was real violence of the most disgusting sort. Highly disturbing, and both S and I had to literally turn away. I’d have been mortified if Muffet saw it.
How can they show this sort of material so easily, and yet they are fuzzing out scantily clad bottoms on beaches on The Travel Channel?
This is such a warped set of puritanical values it boggles the mind. Am I alone in finding the whole moral value set on TV in this country completely cock-eyed?
I have just seen the Perfect Bottom, in the canteen. I will not go on about it too much except to say that it was perfect in shape, size and apparent firmness, having just the right amount of inter-buttock separation, and was displayed in a snug-fitting pair of shorts. I should add that it was a lady’s bottom.
Which brings me to the real matter at hand: have you ever felt compelled, or been tempted, to congratulate a stranger on a body part or a face of beauty? Have you ever toyed with the idea of walking up and saying “May I just say that your bottom is the finest I have seen, and I have admired many, in my long and varied travels on this Earth. May I give you my card?”
That would be creepy, wouldn’t it? And yet owners of Perfect Bottoms may well appreciate a verification from a stranger, an unbiassed observer. It might lift their day.
Today I have mostly been pondering bottoms. In my trip across campus I had time and opportunity to observe a wide variety of bottoms, from the very small to the very large, from the perfectly formed to the not-so-perfectly formed. And I got to thinking whether I could function without my bottom. After all, a bottom is really just two pads of soft stuff for sitting on. It doesn’t seem to have any other purpose. If one had to have one’s bottom amputated, what sort of aids would one be faced with buying to make life bearable? Can one even buy a prosthetic bottom? Would sitting really be such a problem? A chair with decent arms and lumbar support would surely hold the bottom-less body in place. Or would one be forever swaying from side to side, in a position of unstable equilibrium? Perhaps a chair with a hollowed-out seat cushion would be the trick … a sort of docking station for the bottom-less body.
Yes, and welcome to “Pizza Night”, with this week’s host …. cogshiftingman!
Also starring (in alphabetical order) … sarahparah!
This week’s episode: “Dead men don’t eat Pizza!”
(This program brought to you by Trader Joe’s tomato marscapone sauce, Canadian bacon slices, and other bits and pizzas.)
But first it’s assemble the ingredients time! So turn your ovens to 450F, sit back, and watch while we create all sorts of delicious smells in your living room. Don’t go away, folks!
Update: This is a demonstration of what happens to your bottom if you comment on one of my entries with a “heh”:
Returning to the show: the pizza, ready to be subjected to a hot oven…
